Every person comes with a different question, and the work doesn’t always go where either of us expected at the beginning.
Here are a few examples of what people have brought to our work and what they discovered along the way.
She came to me knowing exactly what she wanted: more money, and for it to feel easier.
As we worked, the conversation moved somewhere she hadn’t expected. What became important was how much she was missing a sense of having “her people” around her — people she felt connected to and understood by.
She started making changes around her environment and the people she spent time with.
Later, she told me that her financial situation had improved too.
The interesting part for me wasn’t finding a hidden “reason” for her money situation. It was seeing that the question she arrived with wasn’t the whole picture.
She came wanting to understand herself better.
As we worked, guilt kept appearing — particularly around her relationship with her brother. She was carrying the belief that he was hurt or offended by her, and that belief was affecting how she saw the situation.
We questioned what she actually knew, what she was assuming, and what else might be possible.
At one point she had one of those very simple but important moments:
“Wait… I could do that?”
Sometimes a possibility can be there the whole time without feeling available to you.
She came to me carrying a lot of guilt about choices she had made in her relationship.
As we talked, the situation became much less straightforward than “I did something wrong.”
We looked at what had been happening in the relationship, how she had been treated, how she saw herself, and how much of her guilt came from her own values versus what she believed she was supposed to feel.
The session gave her a different way of looking at what had happened and at the choices available to her now.